If Nigerian States Were People, This Is How They’d Behave on Vacation
You ever look at a Nigerian state and just know, “if this place was human, e for be mad character”?
Well, we finally did it. We imagined every major Nigerian state as that one chaotic, dramatic, or chill travel buddy you either love… or silently block.
Because let’s be honest — planning a trip with Nigerian friends is already drama. But if states were people? The group chat would be on fire.
Let’s dive into it. ๐ฅ
1. LAGOS – The Overdressed Instagram Baddie
๐ถ️ “Where’s the beach? I brought three outfits and two powerbanks for just one selfie.”
๐ฅ️ Tourist Spots: Tarkwa Bay, Lekki Conservation Centre, Nike Art Gallery
๐ฅ Eats: Small chops, seafood platters, overpriced cocktails
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦₦ (If you don’t plan well, Lagos go swallow your wallet)
Lagos is that friend who’s always rushing, always shouting “VIBES ONLY,” and still gets stuck in traffic for three hours. She knows all the hotspots and refuses to “enter Keke like a civilian.”
2. CALABAR – The Sweet One That’s Always Hosting Something
๐ “You’re coming to my house this December. No excuses.”
๐ Tourist Spots: Obudu Mountain Resort, Tinapa, Kwa Falls
๐ฒ Eats: Afang soup, Ekpang Nkukwo
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦ (Affordable if you avoid December surge)
Calabar is the friend who books your ticket before asking you. Very hospitable. Very chill. But don’t underestimate her — this babe turns ALL the way up during Carnival.
3. KANO – The Strict Friend Who Lowkey Has Vibes
๐ณ “I don’t do noise… but wait till I show you real suya.”
๐ Tourist Spots: Gidan Makama Museum, Kurmi Market, Dala Hill
๐ Eats: Suya, Kilishi, Masa
๐ธ Budget: ₦ (Very budget-friendly)
Kano is quiet. Reserved. Doesn’t talk much in the group chat. But the moment you get there? He hits you with culture, architecture, and that suya that makes you rethink life.
4. AKWA IBOM – Rich Auntie With a Secret Beach House
๐ “I don’t make noise. I make plans.”
๐️ Tourist Spots: Ibeno Beach, Ibom Tropicana, Oron Museum
๐ Eats: Afia Efere, Editan soup
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦ (Luxury if you want, cheap if you smart)
Akwa Ibom is soft life in human form. Always glowing. Always smelling expensive. She won’t talk much, but she’ll quietly treat you to the best seafood you’ve ever had.
5. KADUNA – The Lowkey Baddie With History & Heat
๐ง๐พ “Don’t judge me by my hijab. I’ve got fire inside.”
๐งฑ Tourist Spots: Kajuru Castle, Nok Village, Kamuku National Park
๐ซ Eats: Tuwo Shinkafa, Miyan Taushe
๐ธ Budget: ₦ (Very travelable)
Kaduna is the underdog. She’s not loud but when you visit, you’re like “wait, this place fine like this?” She brings the old-school history and a castle in the middle of nowhere.
6. OGUN – The Deep Thinker That Lives in a Bookstore
๐ “Let’s do something fun… like read at Olumo Rock.”
๐ชจ Tourist Spots: Olumo Rock, Abeokuta Cultural Centre
๐ต Eats: Ofada rice + sauce wey dey pepper like heartbreak
๐ธ Budget: ₦
Ogun is the friend that quotes Chinua Achebe in casual convos. You’ll hate it… until she takes you on a quiet adventure that makes you feel wiser.
7. DELTA – The Soft-Hard Babe With Big Big Energy
๐ “I can fight, but I’d rather flex.”
๐ฟ Tourist Spots: Nana Living History Museum, Warri Port, Lander Brothers Anchorage
๐ฅ Eats: Banga soup, starch and owo
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦
Delta’s vibes are unpredictable. One minute she’s calm by the river, next minute she’s hyping a street dance battle in Warri. Best believe she’ll take care of you — with energy.
8. ENUGU – The Subtle Fine Boy With Underground Vibes
๐ค “You won’t hear me loud… but you’ll feel my presence.”
๐️ Tourist Spots: Ngwo Pine Forest, Awhum Waterfall
๐ฝ️ Eats: Abacha, Ofe Akwu
๐ธ Budget: ₦
Enugu is deep. He’s the kind of guy who plays Asa on road trips and reads poetry under trees. But take him to nature, and you’ll understand what serenity feels like.
9. OSUN – The Spiritual One Who Knows All the Back Roads
๐ฎ “Let’s take a detour through the forest. Trust me.”
๐ Tourist Spots: Osun Sacred Grove, Erin Ijesha Waterfall
๐ฒ Eats: Amala and ewedu, egusi
๐ธ Budget: ₦
Osun is that mystical friend who carries shea butter, palo santo, and somehow always knows the weather. She’s giving tradition, beauty, and lowkey goddess energy.
10. JOS – The Fine Boy That Doesn’t Sweat
๐งฃ “While the rest of you are melting in Lagos, I’m rocking a hoodie.”
๐️ Tourist Spots: Shere Hills, Riyom Rock, Jos Wildlife Park
๐ง Eats: Potato dishes, goat meat pepper soup
๐ธ Budget: ₦
Jos is effortlessly cool — literally. He’s the soft-spoken, cold-weather-loving guy who always looks good in pics without trying. Ideal for quiet escapes.
11. ABUJA – The Organized One With Money, Peace, and Zero Wahala
๐ง “We don’t shout here. Just vibes and AC.”
๐ข Tourist Spots: Millennium Park, Aso Rock, Jabi Lake
๐ Eats: Sharwama, jollof, designer rice
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦₦ (Premium lifestyle, but if you sabi road, you go save)
Abuja is that bougie friend who doesn’t argue. She just shows up in clean outfits, with perfect skin, and somehow always knows someone at the embassy.
12. BENUE – The Farmer Boy With Abs and Sweet Food
๐ฅญ “You wan chop fruit? Come make I spoil you.”
๐ฝ Tourist Spots: Benue River, Ushongo Hills
๐ Eats: Yam, beans, pounded yam + gbegiri
๐ธ Budget: ₦
Benue is that friend with a solid body from "farming" and a smile that makes aunties blush. He brings fresh fruit, local charm, and enough gbegiri to finish you.
BONUS ROUND: EDO – The Cultural Icon Who Knows Her Worth
๐ “I didn’t come to impress you. I came to remind you I’m royalty.”
๐ฟ Tourist Spots: Benin Moat, National Museum, Igun Street
๐ฒ Eats: Owo soup, pounded yam
๐ธ Budget: ₦₦
Edo is regal AF. She walks like she’s on a runway and talks like she’s in a history textbook. She’ll drag you to all the cultural spots and still party hard at night.
๐ So, Which One Are You?
Drop your travel personality in the comments:
Are you a Lagos baddie or a Jos hoodie-wearer? A Calabar host or a Benue baby boy?
Better still, pick a weekend and travel like your favorite state.
Because Nigeria is not just heat and headlines — it’s full of heart, culture, and pure vibes.
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