If You’ve Never Done These 12 Things, Did You Even Grow Up in Nigeria?

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 🕊️ Gentle Reminder

Before we dive into today’s laughs, we’re holding space in our hearts for the people of Benue State. You are seen, loved, and not forgotten. May peace find you soon. 💛🇳🇬

Let’s be real for a second: being a Naija child was a whole lifestyle, not just a phase. If you grew up in Nigeria and you didn’t experience at least 6 of these, then we have questions. Deep questions. Because this post is strictly for the real ones who lived that authentic Naija childhood filled with wahala, vibes, and legendary memories.

From dodging compulsory afternoon naps to drinking water straight from the tap without blinking, this post will take you down memory lane. A time before smartphones and streaming, when the only thing that streamed was sweat from playing outside from morning till night.

Ready? Oya, let’s go back in time. 🚀🇳🇬

1. Using Sand as Maggi for Cooking with Leaves and Empty Cans

You’re not a certified Naija child if you never opened a rusty Peak Milk tin, added water, tore leaves from your mother’s flower pot, and added sand as seasoning. That was our own version of MasterChef. Michelin stars for days! The imagination we applied Ehn… you’d think we were training to be Gordon Ramsay's apprentices. Some of us even served our friends with a full ceremony.

2. Drinking Tap or Rain Water Like it Was Bottled Perrier

Before bottled water was a status symbol, the tap and rain were our official sponsors. That rush you get when you run out during the first heavy rain to collect water in bowls? Priceless. And the extra bravery it took to drink from that zinc-roof waterfall… elite immunity system certified.

3. Dancing Legwork at Inter-House Sports Without Rhythm But With Pride

Your house color was like a badge of honor. Blue House kids thought they were better than everyone. But the real madness started during the dance performance. Someone’s cousin will choreograph routines that made zero sense. Still, we danced like we were competing for JAMB forms.

4. Calling All Insects "Caterpillar" and Running Like a Ninja

It didn’t matter if it flew, crawled or just vibed quietly in a corner, once it moved fast or looked creepy—it was a caterpillar. The scream that will follow? Cinematic. We even invented new dance steps while trying to dodge imaginary insect attacks.

5. Breaking Biro to Refill Ink When You Were Broke in Class

This was real-life alchemy. Nobody wanted to be the kid who couldn’t write during dictation. Some of us turned into pen surgeons: removing the ink tube from an old pen, draining from a full one, sealing it with chewing gum or tape. It was mad survival skills.

6. Turning Slippers to Toy Cars with Broomstick and Bottle Caps

We made cars with slippers, iron rods, wires and biscuit wrappers. Creativity was overflowing. We could’ve built Tesla if we had access to Wi-Fi. And if you were part of the crew that used ceiling fan motors for spinning games, welcome to elite levels.

7. Using Omo Nylon as Balloon at Birthday Parties

If your birthday party didn’t have Omo nylons flying about, did you really turn a new age? Those things inflated better than some cheap balloons. Bonus points if you used them to hit your siblings in a full-on wrestling match.

8. Playing Ten-Ten and Suwe Like You Were in the Olympics

Those leg movements were serious business. The chants, the rhythm, the judgmental faces when someone stepped wrongly. It was more intense than Big Brother eviction. And Suwe? If you didn’t have a stone that bounced perfectly, were you even prepared?

9. Running Errands with a Threat Hanging Over Your Head

You knew it was serious when mummy gave you N500 and said, “If that change disappears, you will disappear too.” Suddenly, you’re calculating change with the accuracy of a banker. And God help you if you lost the nylon—even NEPA will feel your tears.

10. Dodging Evening Bath Like You Were Allergic to Water

Afternoon games were never-ending until mum said, “Time to bathe.” Next thing, you’re sneaking behind the house, pretending you already did it. Some of us even wet our hair and face just to make it believable. Scammers in training.

11. Washing Plates with Ash When Sponge Was Missing

You were not just a child. You were a chemist. Sponge don finish? No problem. Just pour ash, add small Omo, and scrub like your future depended on it. And somehow, it worked. The plate go shine like new.

12. Using Torchlight to Hunt for Wall Geckos at Night

This one was the real mission impossible. You and your siblings would form a squad, chasing geckos like they stole something. Some of us even gave them names. If you ever caught one, you were a legend.

Honorable Mentions (Because the Vibes Were Too Much):

✨ Drawing Nonsense on Dusty Car Windows

Instant canvas. Even if it got you in trouble, the art must go on.

✨ Plucking Mango with Long Stick

You didn’t wait for the ripe ones to fall. You went to collect it by force.

✨ Clapping Lights On and Off Just to Prove You Had NEPA

Electricity was a flex. If your house had constant light, you became royalty overnight.

✨ Borrowing Sugar from Neighbours

Not just sugar o, sometimes even pepper, salt, or Maggi. And you always went barefoot with a shy voice: “Mummy said I should come and collect..."

✨ Sleeping on the Floor During Heat Season

Your bed? Forget it. The real coolness was found on tiles. Mosquitoes no go let person rest sha.

Why This Matters

These moments weren’t just silly little things. They were our foundation. They shaped our creativity, toughness, and sense of humor. We were young but smart, broke but rich in vibe, playful but streetwise. And most importantly, we shared all these little joys without needing data, likes or views.

We grew up laughing at pain, turning boredom into entertainment, and surviving things that Gen Alpha would call child abuse today 😭. But it made us who we are. And now, we wear our memories like medals.

So if you ever feel out of place or like life is too hard, just remember:

You survived Nigerian childhood. You can survive anything.

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#NaijaChildhood #GrowingUpNigerian #NostalgiaVibes #NaijaCruise #IfYouRememberThis #ChildhoodThrowback #NigerianMemories #OldSchoolNaija #NaijaForLife #GenZxMillennial #BenueStateLove #PeaceInNigeria

SEO Keywords (Because We Gotta Rank!):

  • Nigerian childhood memories

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  • Naija parenting moments

  • Nigerian kids throwback

  • Benue massacre shoutout

  • Fun Nigerian blog posts

Final Thoughts:

If you can tick off at least 9 of these, congratulations—you lived through the golden age of being a Nigerian child. If you did all 12 and more? Omo, you deserve national recognition and one big bowl of soaked garri with groundnut and milk.

This post isn’t just for laughs, it’s a reminder of where we came from, how far we’ve come, and why we must keep the vibe alive. So please, share this post with your crew, tag your childhood besties, and drop your own crazy childhood memories in the comments!

Until next time, keep vibing, keep laughing, and never forget your roots. ✌🏾

Written by Tiiny – your certified vibe curator, memory lane pilot, and childhood cruise commander.

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