“Democracy Day: The Day We Remember We Still Dey Inside Wahala… But with Style”

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 🗓️ Because if Nigeria won’t work, at least make e entertain us.

🎬 Intro: June 12, and the Wahala That Followed

June 12 isn’t just a date. It’s not just a public holiday. It’s a whole Naija mood.

It’s the day we remember we fought for the power to choose…
…but somehow still dey collect vibes and onions every election year.

Democracy Day be like that one party you RSVP’d to with full expectations — jollof, zobo, maybe even love. But when you reach venue, na garri and loudspeaker full ground. Yet, you go still snap picture and smile. Because Naija no dey carry last.

So today, we’re not just here to sob. We’re here to cruise. To laugh. To reflect. And to maybe, just maybe, remind ourselves why we no fit give up on this country. Not yet.

🎭 PART 1: Democracy in Nigeria: A Netflix Tragicomedy

Let’s be real: if Nigeria's democracy was a Netflix show, it would be in the “tragicomic political fantasy thriller” category — with plenty plot twists, expired promises, and villains that never die.

We voted for:

  • Better roads ➡️ We got detours to hell.

  • Stable electricity ➡️ Even NEPA sef dey use generator now.

  • Job creation ➡️ But it’s only “content creators” that are truly thriving.

Even our ballots no dey fear bleaching — because dem dey recycled pass Big Brother housemates.

Still, we go line up under sun to vote. Because somehow, we still believe. Call it madness. Call it hope. But that's Naija for you. Resilient since 1960. Disappointed since 1999. Hopeful every four years.

🔥 PART 2: Top 10 Signs Your Democracy Is Doing You Dirty

  1. Politicians show up more in campaigns than in office.

    • “Vote me, I will change everything!”

    • After election: “The problem is from the previous administration.”

  2. Your PVC is more useful for opening suya wraps than for voting.

  3. Every election season, rice suddenly becomes a form of currency.

    • “₦2k + 1 derica of rice” = your democratic destiny.

  4. INEC results take longer than pregnancy to come out.

    • But they still manage to shock us like DNA tests.

  5. Your president’s speech needs subtitles.

    • Even Google Translate dey confused.

  6. Your senator’s only achievement is 'empowerment' with wheelbarrows.

  7. Social media drags get more results than government policies.

  8. Budget allocation = big grammar, zero transformation.

  9. The opposition only remembers you exist during press conferences.

  10. Your democracy sounds like freedom, but smells like stress.

🍲 PART 3: Democracy According to the Streets: Pidgin Edition

Let’s switch it up real quick. Here’s how the average Nigerian street guy go explain democracy:

"Democracy na when dem say na we get power, but na dem get fuel."
"Democracy na when you fit talk, but if you talk too loud, dem fit arrest you."
"Democracy na when person wey nor get WAEC certificate dey rule PhD holders."

Honestly, Nigeria dey run freestyle governance. We no dey follow script. Sometimes we go left, sometimes we enter bush — but somehow we still dey move.

🗳️ PART 4: If Naija Politicians Were Honest – 15 Campaign Promises We Actually Believe

  1. “I will build roads that last 3 months — just like your relationships.”

  2. “I will empower youths with ring lights and data subscriptions.”

  3. “I promise to commission the same bridge 3 times before cutting ribbon.”

  4. “My party is committed to spending ₦30 billion on irrelevant committees.”

  5. “We will reduce hunger by distributing vibes and motivational quotes.”

  6. “No more power cuts! Because we no go give you light at all — permanent blackout.”

  7. “We will import made-in-Nigeria products from China.”

  8. “I will appoint my cousins, friends, drivers and ex-girlfriends to important roles.”

  9. “My economic plan is to beg IMF and God.”

  10. “If elected, I’ll only steal small — compared to the other guy.”

  11. “We’ll introduce ‘Sapa Allowance’ for citizens earning below ₦50k.”

  12. “I will declare Detty December a national festival.”

  13. “My only qualification is that I can shout ‘CHANGE!’ louder than others.”

  14. “We will revive the economy… spiritually.”

  15. “I will never forget the masses — unless I get elected.”

🚀 PART 5: What If We Actually Got It Right?

Let’s dream small small:

  • NEPA gives you light and even apologizes for faults?
    (E shock you?)

  • You report a pothole and they fix it same week?
    (God abeg.)

  • Police stop you and say “good evening, drive safely” instead of “anything for the boys?”

  • Your PVC actually works like a remote control — you press ‘vote’ and things change?

Imagine. Just imagine.

💬 PART 6: Voices from the Trenches – Real People, Real Cruise

"I voted in 2019 with hope. Now I dey cook with candle and sweep potholes out my compound." – Bayo, Ibadan.

"If democracy na woman, she for don block Nigeria since." – Peace, Port Harcourt.

"Me I no dey argue again. I dey follow anybody wey go give me rice." – Sade, Festac.

We’ve gotten to the point where survival feels like revolution. But Nigerians? We turn pain into poetry. Stress into story. Sapa into strategy.

🕯️ PART 7: For the Ones Who Never Got to See the Nigeria They Fought For

Pause. Reflect.

Remember MKO. Remember the June 12 protesters. Remember every soul that believed Nigeria would get better.

We still believe. We carry the baton, even if it’s now made of dust and duct tape. Their fight? Still dey our blood.

“Na we be the democracy. Not them. Us.”

🌈 PART 8: So, What’s the Plan?

Are we giving up? Nope.
Are we still dragging politicians? Yup.
Are we still voting, protesting, creating, dragging on Twitter, and shouting “We Meuuve!” from trenches? Always.

Because despite everything — fuel price, bad roads, expired policies, and elected comedians — Nigerians still stand.

We’re tired. But we’re not done.

📣 Outro: Happy Democracy Day, My People

So yeah, Nigeria is mad. But so are we — in the best way.

We hustle. We japa. We create. We survive fuel queues, ASUU strikes, and presidential debates that sound like Nollywood scripts.

Today, we raise a cold zobo, maybe even a plate of rice (if dem give us), and say:

To the Nigeria we still dream of. To the democracy we still dey build.
To the people, tired but still standing.
And to the future — if e like, make e fear, we still dey come.

Happy Democracy Day! 🇳🇬🎉

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