How Nigerian Parents Prepared Us for Life Without Knowing It
— A tribute to the accidental legends who raised us right (and wrong) at the same time.
If you survived a Nigerian household in the 90s or early 2000s, congratulations — you’re basically immune to emotional damage 😂. Before therapists, gentle parenting TikToks and “validate your child’s emotions” entered the chat, our parents were out here raising us like unpaid drill sergeants in the army of life. No breaks. No “how do you feel?”. Just raw, unfiltered discipline laced with strange wisdom and unpredictable love.
And yet — somehow — we turned out okay. Or at least, okay-ish 😅
Looking back now, it’s wild to realize that all those moments we swore we’d never forgive — the yelling, the suspicion, the random beatings, the endless chores — were secretly shaping us for the hard, chaotic adult world ahead. Nigerian parents may not have read parenting books or watched Supernanny, but they had their own curriculum. A brutal, often hilarious crash course in survival, resilience, and navigating a mad world with a straight face.
So let’s break it all down — the funny, the frustrating, and the lowkey genius ways Nigerian parents prepared us for life… even though they didn’t always know what they were doing.
1. “Because I Said So” – The OG Leadership Training
Before we learned about “setting boundaries” or “assertiveness,” our parents gave us a PhD in power dynamics — no questions allowed.
You: “But why, mummy?”
Her: “Are you asking me ‘why’? Do I look like your mate? Ehn?!”
That was it. End of discussion.
No debates. No back-and-forth. Just command and obey. At the time, it felt like oppression. But now? It hits different. That experience taught us to:
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Read the room FAST 🧠
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Know when to shut up in meetings
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Take instruction, even under pressure
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Recognize that authority doesn’t always need to be logical — it just is
It’s why so many Nigerians thrive in high-pressure jobs. We’ve been getting yelled at since birth. You think one passive-aggressive Slack message can shake us? Abeg.
2. Emotional Toughness via Random Insults 😭
Let’s be real — Nigerian parents didn’t exactly specialize in emotional intelligence. Instead, they had a whole library of insults ready to launch at your self-esteem for the smallest offence.
“See your head like coconut.”
“Is that how your mates are doing?”
“If I slap you, your eye will reset!”
“You don’t have sense. That’s your problem.” 😭
Was it healthy? Absolutely not.
Was it effective? Unfortunately… yes.
What it did was build thick skin. We learned early on not to take words too personally. We became masters of comebacks, sarcasm, and subtle clapbacks. Emotional intelligence? No. Emotional resistance? 100%.
Today, we dodge online trolls like dodgeball. Cancel culture can’t cancel what our mother’s tongue has already canceled.
3. The Silent Treatment as Psychological Warfare
You ever do something bad and instead of shouting, your mum just keeps quiet? 😩
That eerie silence… the side-eye… the holy humming of a hymn she never sings on normal days...
That was fear. That was suspense. That was pure, uncut anxiety.
They didn’t need lectures. That silence cooked your guilt to perfection.
And guess what? Now you:
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Overthink everything you do (but in a productive way)
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Can sense tension from a mile away
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Know when to keep your mouth shut and observe
That’s emotional strategy, baby. Call it manipulative, but it WORKED.
4. Punishment Olympics – Discipline or Torture? Who Knows.
When Western kids got timeouts and “consequence jars,” we were getting ready for discipline drills that would humble even the Navy SEALs.
One wrong move and you were:
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Kneeling with your hands up for 2 hours
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Holding a bucket full of water as if you were in soldier camp
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Slapped into a new time zone for rolling your eyes
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Assigned chore duty for one week without parole
But the lesson?
We learned that actions have consequences. That life is not a game, and that some nonsense can never go unpunished. We may have cried then, but now we understand:
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Accountability matters
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Discipline isn’t fun, but it builds structure
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You can survive anything if you’ve survived your dad chasing you around the house with a belt 😭
5. Chores Were Training for Adulthood (We Just Didn’t Know Yet)
From as early as age 6, Nigerian kids had unofficial CVs listing experience in:
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Dishwashing
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Water fetching
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Gas-checking
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“Go and grind pepper at Mama Chi’s place”
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Floor cleaning with that supa-supa foam and Izal 😂
They didn’t say it, but they were teaching us how to handle responsibilities like adults:
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Multi-tasking (wash plate while watching Africa Magic = elite skill)
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Time management (finish chores before mummy comes back = survival)
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Initiative (you better not wait to be told twice)
That’s why so many of us are adulting like champions — tired, yes. But capable AF.
Gen Alpha better buckle up.
6. Financial Hardness = Financial Literacy (Kinda)
“Money doesn’t grow on trees” wasn’t just a phrase — it was a lifestyle.
Your parents would give you ₦50 and expect it to:
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Pay for transport
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Buy lunch
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Save
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And still bring change 😭
They didn’t give allowances freely. You had to EARN it:
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Washing car = ₦20
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Running errands = ₦10
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Fetching water = maybe ₦5, if they’re feeling generous
What did that do? It taught us:
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How to manage small money with big dreams
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That hustling is part of life
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The value of saving — even if it was just coins in a Milo tin
They turned us into budget warriors, and honestly? That’s why we’re still surviving in this economy.
7. Paranoia Was Their Love Language
If your parents ever told you:
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“Don’t collect anything from anybody oh!”
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“If they give you biscuit, bring it home first!”
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“Don’t tell people what is happening in this house!”
Then congrats — you grew up with paranoid love 😂
They suspected:
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Neighbours
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Your teacher
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The school bus driver
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Even your classmates (“That boy, I don’t like him. He looks suspicious.”)
At the time, it was frustrating. But now? We get it. They were trying to protect us in the only way they knew how — by turning us into hyper-alert, street-smart individuals.
We learned to:
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Read people
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Trust our gut
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Keep our circle tight
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And never let our guard down completely
Naija parents don’t play with spiritual or physical safety — and that’s on God dey protect but still shine your eye.
8. Faith Over Fear: How They Rooted Us Spiritually
Before mindfulness apps, there was morning devotion at 5am — half-asleep, singing hymns and reciting Psalm 91 like our life depended on it (because apparently, it did).
Even if you were a toddler, they’d still force your hand into the Bible and say, “Read it!” 😭
Whether it was Muslim, Christian, or traditional — Nigerian parents were (and still are) spiritually grounded.
And from that, we learned:
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How to stay rooted even in chaos
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How to hope when things make zero sense
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How to draw strength from something higher
Their faith wasn’t always perfect, but it gave us foundation. It made us strong. And even today, when life gets messy, that spiritual wiring kicks in. Just like they wanted.
9. Respect Was Non-Negotiable
You could be a genius, a top student, or the best-behaved kid in your school — if you greeted someone older without saying “Good morning ma,” na slap go reset your jaw. 😩
Respect in a Nigerian home wasn’t optional:
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You kneel or prostrate to greet elders
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You NEVER call adults by their first name
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Eye contact could be seen as disrespect 😭
It wasn’t just about being polite — it was about learning social hierarchy, humility, and cultural pride.
Now, even abroad, you see Nigerians holding doors, saying “Excuse me ma,” and showing up with the kind of manners that turn heads. That’s that home training at work.
10. Emotional Neglect? Yes. But Emotional Resilience? Also Yes.
Let’s not sugarcoat it. Nigerian parents were not emotionally available.
If you cried, they asked why.
If you said you were sad, they said, “Better go and sweep the floor.”
If you said “I love you,” they replied with “Ehen, have you eaten?” 😭
But lowkey… that created a generation of people who:
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Know how to self-soothe
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Rely on themselves emotionally
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Are now re-learning softness — but from a place of strength
It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t always right. But it built grit. And for a lot of us, that grit is what kept us from crumbling under adult life.
CLOSING:
Now that we’re grown, some of us still carry scars — emotional, mental, even physical. But we also carry strength. Nigerian parenting was a mixed cocktail of chaos and care, of trauma and tenacity. But one thing’s for sure:
They tried.
They tried with what they knew. They tried with the tools they had.
They didn’t always get it right, but they planted seeds of resilience, survival, and faith in us. Seeds we’re now growing — with therapy, memes, prayers, and love.
So to all the Nigerian parents out there — we see you.
We forgive you (even for the surprise slaps).
And we thank you — for raising warriors, one tough love moment at a time.
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